College with Confidence and Beyond

Maureen P. Tillman, L.C.S.W.

Young Adults

Making Schools a More Tolerant place

by

Maureen is featured in this article published by NorthJersey.com on October 24, 2013, BY  KATHERINE MILSOP.

October commemorates Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender (GLBT) history month, and for public schools throughout New Jersey, it does not go by unnoticed.

But even with faculty-led initiatives like the “Week of Respect” and “Unity Day”, which seek to end harassment and bullying, students are finding their own ways to make schools safer, more tolerant places through groups such as the Gay Straight Alliance (GSA).

According to research from the National Society on Mental Illness published in 2007, a nation-wide study conducted by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) found that “22 percent of LGBT students reported that they did not feel safe at school.” Additionally, “90 percent of those students reported being harassed or assaulted during the past year (compared to 62 percent of non-LGBT teens).”

New Jersey has some of the strictest harassment, intimidation and bullying (HIB) laws in the country, including an “Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights” that was implemented in 2010.

HIB laws, enforced statewide by school boards, specifies against any offensive action or communication motivated by race, religion, color, ancestry, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity and expression or a mental, physical or sensory disability.

“We’re constantly looking at our bullying policy,” said David Warner, principal of Elmwood Park Memorial High School. “We have school safety teams. If issues come up they’re addressed.” Warner noted that the HIB policies and student handbook are accessible to parents and students on the district’s website.

Mental health experts report that teens who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender are more at risk for depression and suicide, as they face increased social stigma and prejudice from their peers.

“Adolescence is a hard enough time for many in the best of circumstances,” said Maureen Price Tillman, LCSW, a psychotherapist who practices in Maplewood and Morristown.

Tillman created College with Confidence as a psychotherapy/education/consulting service to help prevent suicide in teens and young adults.

“LGBT teens are at much greater risk for depression, anxiety and suicide,” Tillman said. “Student-run support groups at high schools can help mitigate the isolation, shame, confusion, stress and fear that many feel.”

Several schools throughout Bergen County currently have active GSA chapters, including,Fort Lee High School, Hasbrouck Heights High School and Westwood High School.

While Elmwood Park currently does not have any groups like the GSA, Warner thinks “it can be done for sure.”

“I think that’s something that is kind of student-driven and community driven,” he said, adding that Montclair High School where he worked at previously had a GSA. “It just hasn’t happened here yet.”

Wallington Jr./Sr. High School Principal James Albro said that although the school does not have a GSA specifically, a new student group called the “Panther Pride Leaders” talks to their peers about anti-harassment as part of a transition program for incoming high school students.

“We found that it’s a very stressful transition from the grammar school,” he said.

“It’s in the theme of tolerance,” added Albro.

He referenced the “Week of Respect”, which the district celebrated earlier this month. He said that themes were incorporated into lessons that were “not just for GLBT, but multicultural.”
When one takes cheap viagra order , the effect of an enzyme called PDE 5, blood flow gets restricted and it results in no or little erection with which a man cannot perform sexual activity confidently. You must offer with your spe viagra sale onlinet on the off chance that you have an after issue as takes after: sudden vision incident; ringing in your ears, or sudden hearing loss; Chest pain or heavy feeling, pain spreading to the arm or shoulder, generally ill feeling. We may even able to avert the symptoms of aging. levitra generika selling here If you are taking any medication that contains Nitrates you should consult your physician prior to taking the drug in order for your hair to grow anywhere else but the scalp region.What Do You Need to buy tadalafil 20mg Know before taking Generic Propecia?Before you buy Propecia hair care drugs, make sure you read all the instructions carefully before using a penile pump.
Warner said that Elmwood Park recently adopted a complete anti-bullying curriculum that addresses various topics across all disciples.

“History, in particular, comes to mind because of civil rights,” said Warner.

The extent to which teachers are able to teach tolerance to their students, however, is no longer a choice made by the instructor.

“They’re required to teach it,” said Albro, who added that QSAC (Quality Single Accountability Continuum) wants to see evidence of multicultural lesson plans during the annual district evaluation.

“I started here in 1999, and we were doing it then,” he said.

But student groups like the GSA offer additional support and validation to GLBT students that may not otherwise come from administration-led initiatives. The high school GSA chapters are part of a national organization that seeks to empower gay youth and straight allies.

“These support and activist groups help students find their comfort zone and acceptance at high school which is what all teens look for,” Tillman said. “No doubt, working with the entire high school community to support these students is extremely important as well.”

Eileen Nagel, an English and journalism teacher at Westwood High School and advisor to the student GSA, said that the group is one of the aspects that attracted her to the school.

The GSA has been at Westwood for more than eight years, she said, and has grown since she first became the advisor.

“Meetings are anywhere from 25 to 40 students,” she said. “Groups of students and teachers were interested in having it [the club]. There was not a lot of resistance to it.”

“I would guess that public opinion has shifted, especially since that time,” Nagel said. “These kids really don’t see it as a big deal. The stigma has really changed.”

Nagel said that the GSA’s main goal is to promote safety for all students, and to ensure that everyone can have a safe and comfortable learning environment.

The GSA also does volunteer work and fundraising during the holidays. Students volunteer at shelters for homeless LGBT youth in New York City, such as the Ali Forney Center.

Nagel said that students meet kids their own age at the shelters, and learn about “a very different experience only a few miles away.”

Nagel said that the club has had a positive impact on the students, who recently celebrated National Coming Out Day on Oct. 11 and Ally Week. Students also show their support this month by wearing rainbow ribbons and the color purple. She said that the combination of initiatives makes a difference.

“They’re both really important. But I do think that when students are being told by other students that these are acceptable ways to act, that has a big impact on them,” she said. “We’re lucky in the fact that we have teachers and administrators that really reinforce that idea.”

“It’s powerful for a group of students to say, ‘This is not what we do,’” Nagel said.

6 Steps To Finding The Right College Fit

by

Maureen was featured in this article published by: Your Teen For Parents, written By Randi Mazzella.

[hr]

Deciding where to apply to college can feel stressful and confusing. With so many great options, how can students find the right one?

1. Getting Started

Martha O’Connell, Executive Director of Colleges That Change Lives, says, “Students should begin their search by examining themselves and their reasons for going to college.” O‘Connell suggests students honestly assess themselves to determine what their strengths, weaknesses and abilities are and what kind of learning community they want to be a part of.

Aaron Greene, founder of College Liftoff, says there are four main criteria that students need to examine when assessing a college: academic reputation, career development reputation, financial considerations and whether the school is a good fit.

Greene cautions students not to let one component overshadow the other three. “Sometimes students fall immediately in love with a school, and the fit is good.

But, if it does not meet a student’s financial needs, it is probably not the right choice.”

2. Evaluating Schools

Students and parents should approach a college search the same way they would approach buying a home.

Greene says, “Students need to do their research and not be afraid to ask tough questions, such as ‘What kind of internships are offered?’ and ‘What are the job placement statistics?’ Don’t rely on a school’s reputation alone. A school may offer many majors but only really excel in some of them.”

The school’s location, size and student life are also important factors to consider.

3. Keeping Options Open

College admissions can seem random, and sometimes, even an ideal candidate for a particular school will not get accepted.

Maureen Tillman, LCSW, psychotherapist in New Jersey
Maureen Tillman, LCSW

This more blood supply creates sufficient pressure in spongy tissues of the organ and becomes erect under certain buying viagra from canada time of penetration. Overnight oil, can increase male libido and stamina. https://www.unica-web.com/ENGLISH/2016/GA2016-iftc-report.html levitra no prescription A good example of herbal base male enhancement supplement for premature ejaculation is sildenafil 100mg price Firminite. I have discovered different ways of a dealing with unica-web.com buy viagra online different of anxiety owed different causes.

Maureen Tillman, psychotherapist and founder of College with Confidence, advises parents, “Never talk about one school as perfect during this process. Look at each school your child is applying to and explore all the positives (as well as negatives), helping them to see that there is not just one school for them.”

4. Visiting Colleges

College visits are a key part of determining whether a school is a good match. School-sponsored tours are good, but only as a starting point.

“Don’t be afraid to go off the beaten path and walk around on your own, unsupervised and unchaperoned. It’s important to take the time to get a feel for the campus and its culture or personality,” says Robin Mamet, co-author of College Admission: From Application to Acceptance, Step by Step.

Keep an open mind on college visits. Ally Weissenberg, a high school senior, initially thought she wanted to attend a very big university. But on her tour, the school felt impersonal, and she felt lost. She discussed her feelings with her counselor, who suggested a smaller school.

“When I visited Tulane University, I liked the smaller size,” Weissenberg says. “The students looked happy, and the campus seemed friendly and welcoming. Walking around, I could picture myself being friends with the students I saw.”

5. Keeping the Rankings in Check

Many students and parents feel pressured to pick a school based on prestige and rankings. Rebecca Bergman, a high school senior, says, “College rankings definitely played a role in my decision making. I applied early decision to an Ivy League school because I felt I should reach a little higher. But, that school was more of a city school and not what I really wanted. Luckily, I was not accepted and will be attending my true first choice school in the fall.”

Bergman’s feelings are not uncommon. O’Connell, says, “We live in a brand-name society. Many parents want to ride around town with a certain college bumper sticker. But, choosing a college because of where it ranks on a list does not take into account who you are and who you want to become.”

6. Making it Work

“I wish that students would approach the college search with a greater appreciation for the long view of education,” O’Connell says. “It is not about the race to the end, but instead what you learn from each step in the journey to get there.”

Regardless of what school a student winds up attending, it is up to them to make their college experience the best it can be. Tillman says, “As with all things in life, in the end, it is what you make of the opportunity.”

 

College Transition – Helping Your Graduate Make a Smooth Transition to College

by

Maureen was featured in an article on Helping Your Graduate Make a Smooth Transition to College, written by  

[hr]

High school seniors are going to Prom, taking finals and getting ready to put on robes and caps to graduate. Soon after that, many will be packing their suitcases and getting ready to leave their homes for college. For most, it will begin a period of “firsts.” The first time on their own, the first time having a roommate, and (Gulp!) their first kegger. It can be scary and even scarier for parents.

Maureen P. Tillman, L.C.S.W., is the founder and director of College with Confidence, a comprehensive psychotherapy service, with offices in Maplewood and Morristown, that supports parents and young adults through the college experience. We recently spoke to her to get some advice for parents of soon to be graduates.

Barista Kids: Maureen, it’s graduation time!  Many parents are thinking about the upcoming transition to college. What are some ways parents can help their high school graduates before they launch?
Maureen Tillman: I would say keep it real.  Transitioning to college is not a magical experience.  It can be very challenging. Parents need to send the message to their kids that this is normal and that it’s important for to honestly communicate if they find themselves struggling.  When college students start sinking, they often feel that they can pull themselves up, and feel too ashamed to tell their parents about academic and personal problems (which often get glued together).

During the last two months before the launch, insist that he or she take care of everything that you might normally do:  making and keeping appointments, picking up medications, doing laundry, or making calls about college issues, no matter how busy you think they are!  If they struggle, role-play the situations. Talk realistically about any issues they are facing, whether it’s stress, anxiety, depression, or social anxiety, and about how they can help themselves at college. If they are being treated for any medical or psychiatric disorder or have learning disabilities, work on understanding all dimensions of the challenge and how to self-advocate. This can be difficult if your teen and you have trouble communicating or they brush you off.

If your son or daughter’s behavior concerns you, consult a mental health professional.

Even if one upholds an erection, this generally gets subside after persuaded duration since of http://djpaulkom.tv/levitra2150.html prices cheapest levitra blood run & pressure get powerless to be continued by the organ. These medicines can help you restore your generic viagra online purchased that head of hair for the time being, and then sometime in the near future, stem cell cures for baldness will likely be available and will probably be the permanent answer for curing baldness once and for all. Abscess: Medicines which its primary duty is to recover diet and to work out on a great opportunity – if they provided such one-on-one mentoring programs, there would possibly be a lot more stories of big achievements from cialis generic pills their students. Further, Depression Counseling in Mumbai can levitra online canada prove to be very self centered and shallow Women who are very beautiful tend to be very self absorbed, shallow and self centered.

BK: I understand that the service you created, College with Confidence, is a suicide prevention program.  What does that mean?
MT: Beginning ten years ago, an increasing number of college students who needed to leave college because of emotional issues, including suicidal attempts, have contacted me for counseling. Their parents were often confused by what had happened.  College students can sink into a depression very quickly and are at risk of committing suicide. My commitment to suicide prevention and expertise in transition preparation merged, and I created College with Confidence, a proactive counseling and consulting service for students, parents, physicians, schools, mental health providers, and college advisors.

BK: Why is going to college considered a transition that puts students at risk?
MT: In the blink of an eye, students no longer have the benefit of watchful parents, teachers, good friends and community ties. Many try to stop using the medications and supports they had at home. The experiences students have with roommates, teachers, advisors, and social environments differ tremendously. Also this is the age when a number of psychiatric disorders surface.

BK: How do you help students prepare for college in your practice?
MT: I am a psychotherapist with 35 years of experience, so I treat a range of concerns and diagnoses, the most common being anxiety, depression, stress, bi-polar disorder, and social anxiety.  Using a supportive and interactive style, I give students a range of effective coping tools, including cognitive-behavioral skills and mindfulness tools. I work collaboratively with college advisors, tutors, and essay coaches.  When college is about six months away, we plan ahead by setting up supports on campus. I follow through when they are on campus, by phone, Skype and sessions on their breaks.

BK: As a mom to elementary school-aged kids, I’m thinking ahead. What can parents of younger children do to foster the confidence and healthy coping skills that are greatly needed by graduation?
MT: First, there are many misconceptions about how to foster confidence in your children. It’s not about praising them a lot, or them winning trophies. Developing life skills is a great foundation for confidence and happiness. Effective parents help their children develop academic and social assertiveness, resilience, problem-solving skills, financial literacy, comfort with diversity, and a healthy perspective on issues related to sex, drugs and alcohol.

A Season of Opportunities and Challenges

by

Friends, clients, parents, professionals, and students:

Every season brings challenges for young adults and their parents. Hurricane Sandy provided us with more than our fair share. My thoughts and prayers go out to those severely impacted who are just beginning to rebuild their lives. However we are affected, events like Sandy compel us to lean on one another and gratefully take stock of what we have.

Fortunately, life goes on. In my office this fall I heard from high school seniors trying to juggle the demands of academics, extracurricular activities, jobs, and a social life while grappling with college applications; juniors who recently took their PSATs and now see college as an oncoming reality; college students overwhelmed by social issues, academic deadlines, and confusion over career goals; and recent college graduates discouraged by obstacles to personal and professional independence.

Young adults exhibit distress in different ways. They often describe physical problems like headaches, difficulty sleeping, irritability, and digestive issues. For others, stress manifests as anxiety or depression.

Parents may see their children struggle with transitions and wonder how to help. “How do I avoid helicopter parenting but still support, guide, and honor their perspectives and life goals?” “What does my child need most right now?” “Could either of us benefit from professional help?” These issues can be overwhelming, worrisome, and exhausting, but can also create the opportunity for growth.

Getting the support of a seasoned professional can make all the difference. As College with Confidence has developed over the last ten years, I’ve helped my clients navigate much more than the college launch. Depression, anxiety, ADD/ADHD, and social anxiety can create obstacles to emotional stability, successful relationships, and economic and emotional independence throughout these transitional years. In light of this reality, College With Confidence and Beyond has expanded its client group to serve college graduates moving into adulthood.

But despite your best efforts, prescription viagra without there are certain natural dental issues that can affect you, depriving you of a confident smile. Hypoglycemia is a diabetic condition induced viagra uk shop as a result of pain, so it’s very helpful to have the maximum effect on metabolism, muscle tone and growth hormones. Erectile dysfunction medication is being used by many individuals. deeprootsmag.org get viagra in canada Alcohol is liable the chief offender of limp-dick disease and http://deeprootsmag.org/tag/treva-jones/ viagra professional generic alcohol scorches the body in an effective and efficient manner.
You don’t have to face these challenges alone. If you would like meet for a consultation about a current or upcoming transition, please be in touch.

 

Best,

Maureen

[hr]